One Drunk Night, and the many that followed
by FromHellWithLove
Summary: Many people wish to visit enter Middle Earth, unfortunately for me it is often result of to much alcohol. So massive hangovers, embarrassing stories and a furry mouth but I keep turning up and annoying Thorin, Thranduil, Elrond to the point where I'm not sure if they are going to laugh or kill me. and then theres the one night stand that started this whole thing.
1. Christmas cocktails

I was drunk, that is the best explanation I can give you.

It was Christmas, once again I found myself needing several shots of Sambuca to survive an evening with my mother, and several glasses of red wine to supress the guilt I felt because of thinking I needed Sambuca to get through the evening.

But for whatever reason I found myself on Christmas day, in the top room of the Tortworth court hotel. Drunk enough to not care, not drunk enough not to remember as I slipped my hand down my trousers and brushing my clit. I didn't care who I was thinking of, only that it felt good. I'm not entirely sure what happened next, I was lonely and needed to feel, feel like my size 18 self was worth something. Kind heart, pretty face but not a body to match, I has stretch marks across my lower stomach just above my curls. Nasty purple lines which made me feel like a mother, even though I was nearly 20 years old and hadn't had sex since my first failed year of a levels.

Who am I, I suppose I need some description, I am Anne. I am a tall thickly built natural blond with blue eyes. I say natural blond because my hair colour changes depending on how angry I am. Right now it is a dark browny red colour, it is hard to describe hair dyed caramel from chocolate brown, but I liked the odd colour.

However I digress, my body and hair colour is not that important, to you the reader of my story. This particular story began one Christmas, the Christmas several years after my mother tried to defrost a salmon with a hair dryer. I was in a hotel with my mother and older sister, secretly drowning my sorrows. When I decided it would be a good time to disappear and head to see the rain clouds from the top floor of the hotel.

I repeat I was lonely, horny, and drunk.

It was exiting the lift when I semi noticed my surroundings had changed from hotel to smelly fish town. I was in a room. The bed was simple so was the decor, not tinsel or other decorations for the Christmas season. I didn't care at this point, I was drunk. Which I have said several times but I just want to make sure you know the truth.

I laid down on the bed, thinking no one would disturb me. I slipped off my demi jeans, my hand running slipping immediately into my nightmare before Christmas nickers. I thought of many things my mind creating a faceless man, telling me I'm beautiful, I'm kind and worth a man's attention.

I felt the mattress dip, a greasy haired man wearing old fashioned clothing was leaning over me. I froze suddenly scared I had angered someone, but then he kissed me. A sloppy, wet kiss, but a kiss. It was all I needed. I pulled him closer kissing him back, tugging at his clothing. Pulling away first his coat then fumbling with is belt. He chuckled pushing my hands away, he pulled his layers of clothing off as I watched. His body was pale and lanky, his smile was leering, like a predator who had won the pray.

I slipped my hand down my nickers once more, making a show of slipping my hand in and out of my pussy, finally he was naked, his erection stood erect, bigger than I expected and thicker. My mouth drooled as I took my fingers from my pussy, licking the juices from it before crawling seductively forward. He stood at the end of the bed, his own hand rubbing his shaft.

His long fingers pulled my head upward into a brutal kiss. My body was of fire. The wetness between my legs grew as his hands slipped under my t shirt, almost ripping it from my body. Leaving me in a sports bra and panties. When he couldn't undo my bra, he contented himself with joining me on his bed. Running his hands up and down my body, as he pushed me back against the covers.

"Alfrid" he muttered against my lips

I frowned "I'm sorry?"

"My name is Alfrid, and I would like to know the name of the goddess I am about to bed"

I giggled under him "Anne" I replied "My name is Anne"

"A lovely name" Alfrid said his mouth moving to my neck, I was lost in pleasure as he nipped and sucked at me sensitive neck. I pressed him closer with one hand, the other finding his hot cock. He stilled as I rubbed the tip, smearing the precum over the head before my hand dipped down, rubbing his length. He groaned against my neck, pressing his mouth against the sensitive flesh Alfrid sucked it into his mouth. He chuckled as I arched towards him.

His mouth left my neck, looking me in the eye he positioned himself at my dripping wet entrance. I closed my eyes feeling my rub against the tingling flesh, he entered me in one fast movement. I gasped, sucking in air I arched my back, my breasts crushing against his chest. My nipples erect in the cool air. His mouth latched onto my shoulder as he began to thrust into me, never completely removing his hot cock, choosing instead to alter between short hard thrusts and grinding up against me, my lips spreading leaving my clit exposed to the rough grinding of his pelvis.

My hands ran through his hair, up and down his body, alternating between grabbing and stroking his flesh. For the first time in years I felt wanted, beautiful.

His thrusts became harder, faster as my walls began to clench. Milking his sweet cock for all it was worth. My orgasm raked over me, making me shudder. He came soon after, calling my name. Neither of us had lasted long, the heat of his seed was a new feeling. Red hot pleasure in my core.

He collapsed on top of me, breathing hard pressing gently kissing to my neck. Alfrid pulled covers over the two of us, kissing my forehead.

"Sleep" He muttered warily

I nodded curling up his arm around me. I was drunk, but happy.

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**Hope you liked it, Reviews appreciated, and Merry Christmas :)**


	2. Christmas cocktails 2

I woke up the next morning in my hotel bed, my skin sticky but the room was warm so I brushed the previous night's events off as a dream. The day was peaceful, I walked, I talked and I rebloged on Tumblr. Come the evening I found myself once again driven to drink, with my mother being patronising and my sister encouraging her (a behaviour she would later deny) I found myself once again in the room on the third floor. This time I had drunk until I couldn't feel my face a mix of possibly 5 classes of wine, shots of tequila, Sambuca and something called aftershock. I was sitting on the windowsill of the top floor window.

Sipping my last glass of wine and wondering if it was a good idea have some more shots. The wind and rain battered the windows, the sound of the storm rang loud with in the empty room. Clicking on my IPod I listened to Shane Koyzan his words making my believe life was worth it. I had passed the happy drunk feeling and entered the depressing faze.

Taking another sip of my wine, I heard a voice.

"Don't run away my pretty"

I turned believing the voice to be directed at me. Instead I saw a small figure cowering from a larger one. Instantly I knew the cowering figure needed help, again I was drunk and wasn't thinking properly when I shouted "Hay Fuckwit!" This caught the attention of the three men involved "Leave the midget alone!" not PC I grant you but it did the trick the 3 began to advance on me, I drowned the last of my wine before stepping up. It there is one thing I have learned about bullies is that they back down them you stand up to them.

I will say this is the only memo which made it to my brain. The sober me would have backed off, but I my stood swaying drunk ground. "Why you picking on him?" I slurred trying to sound sober, the men said nothing but the closest raised a hand. Even slightly impaired I managed to block his strike. "That's just rude" I snapped "Here I am trying to have a civilised conversation, and you try to hit me"

The man looked at me uncertainly, obviously unused to a drunk female wearing jeans talking back to them. I'm not angry to I attempt drunken diplomacy.

"What is your name?" I ask letting go of my attackers arm. He blinked, shocked. Minutes crawled by before he finally said

"Rutland" he had to repeat it several times before I could pronounce it properly but we got there.

"Well Rutland" I said "You are never going to intimidate me in that stance" I gestured to his posture, hunched over, knees bent inward. "I have never studied martial arts but I can see you aren't very stable" to prove a point I pushed him hard and he fell to the ground, "With a stronger stance you would be a threat"

The man took one look at me and ran off, "Again!" I shouted "Rude!" I headed over to the still cowering figure "Are you ok?" I asked softly offering my hand

The small boy nodded taking my hand he stood, then immediately wrapped himself around my leg. Clinging on to me, "Ok kid" I said trying to free myself "I'm Anne and you are?"

"Ori" He whispered "I was looking for my brother" despite his lack of high, he looked fairly mature, but his big eyes full of innocence showed his youth.

"I take it you couldn't find him" I stated, Ori nodded. "Ok where do you live?"

"Not far" He whispered "Come with me" I barely had time to nod before he grabbed my hand and dragged me through the streets, Ori was over a foot smaller than me leading to several mouthfuls of mud, he finally stopping at a rundown house on the outskirts of town, still tugging me he entered the house. "Dori" he called "Dori I'm back, and I've brought a friend"

An older man, who was still short compared to me appeared, his long hair and beard braided in an intricate way. Speechless I stood in the hallway watching the older man inspect the Ori for injuries,

"I told you not to go into town at this time, but would you listen" Dori was saying to Ori

"But Nori" Ori whined

"None of that" Dori ordered "Straight up stairs and to bed" huffing Ori left, waving at me before he vanished.

Dori turned to me "Thank you for bringing my brother back, from what he says you were quite the hero"

"I waz making merry" I tried to say "Couldn't leave a young man in trouble"

"Ar" Dori muttered "You are quite intoxicated" he said

I raised my thumb and forefinger "Little bit" I slurred leaning against the wall as I waved my hand in front of my face, for some reason it felt weightless as I swung it in a figure of 8. Dori had disappeared when I finally looked away from my arm. "Ello?" I called, standing I finally dared to leave to safety of the wall

"This way" Dori called from another room presumably the kitchen, he appeared with a cup in hand "Here" He offered it to me "This will help you sober, maybe then you can get home without incident"

At first I refused, I had spent good money getting drunk, but Dori's stern gaze made me take the cup. I downed it like a shot, in one gulp. The world around me swam and faded to black.

Once more I awoke in my hotel bed, this time my head pounded. "I am never drinking ever again" I muttered, the dream of Ori and Dori slipping away, I swung my legs out of bed and promptly fell over.

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Sorry for any mistakes, this is from the POV of a drunk woman, Reviews are appreciated :) hope everyone had a good Christmas.


	3. Vodka

Things I have learned,

Once is chance twice is coincidence three times it enemy action.

And I must never drink vodka.

I remember wondering around a beautiful city, with very beautiful people. Lots of wood…. And I vaguely remember vomiting, grabbing something, falling over, waking up!

My mouth felt like something had died in it, my head span as I pushed myself up, briefly bringing the pillow with me, as it had stuck temporarily to my face. My eyes hurt as I reached blindly for my bottle of water, only when I couldn't get the lid of I realise I am gripping something in one hand. Looking at it, I can't remember where I got it from, but I was holding one of the most beautiful rings I have ever seen. It had a large white stone that sparkled brightly, set in a heavy metal.

I knew this ring, I vaguely remember grabbing someones hand but...

Groaning loudly I fell back against my pillows, whacking my already aching head against the head board. The ring fell out of my hand, it fell down the side of the bed as I fell asleep again.

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**Happy new year :)**


	4. New Year and Wine

New Year's. A time for friends, dancing drinking and kissing at midnight.

Not a time for downing a bottle of wine, feeling very upset because none of your friends or even you're so called boyfriend has invited you out, called or even texted to wish you happy new year.

Have you any idea how depressing that is?

But I've never had much luck with good friends, but I try, I just wish they would as well.

Relaxing back in the window seat, I sip my wine. The view is beautiful, the stars shine brilliantly above I wonder if- "Hello" the voice startles me! I spill wine down my shirt.

Quickly putting the glass down I jump up muttering "shit shit shit" as I wipe wine from my shirt a hand on my shoulder causes me to yelp, whirling round I accidentally elbowed the persons chest. He chuckles lightly as I apologise clumsily, he handed me a cloth for my shirt.

"Thanks" I mutter not looking at him as he takes the cloth back, I'm itching to reach for the last of my wine, and instead we stand in awkward silence.

Then he called for someone, in a strange language, another person appeared then disappeared after the man in front of my said something else. He turned to me with a smile, I couldn't hold his gaze to long I felt like all my secrets and fears where laid bare, and I was naked under his eyes (and not in the fun way)

"It's a dark road" He finally says I blink, once, twice. My brain is having trouble processing that statement. My train of thought is broken by the return of the other person, who hands the man in front of me a bottle before leaving. "I appear to have wasted some of your wine," He smiles "Allow me" he leans past me to take my glass, throwing the dregs out the window he re fills it and passes it back to me, I smile in thanks "Now this I take it" He begins "Is not your second glass," his eyes one my face again "More of your second bottle"

"So it's illegal to drink now is it" I say snidely "Sue me" I take a large gulp of the wine, it is more potent than I realise, and it warms my body. I sit in the window seat and look out the window, he chuckles again and takes a seat with me.

"What brings you to Rivendell?" he asks

"Oh is that where I am?" I say "I did wonder"

"You did not know?"

"No but I had suspicions I wasn't at home. Mainly the party of dwarves down there" I gesture below us, then to him "the very beautiful men with pointed ears walking around but I think what convinced me was that my houses doesn't have a window seat" we look at each other for a moment "Anne" say offering my hand

"Elrond" he replies taking my hand and placing a kiss on the knuckles, I blush. "This is my kingdom" He continues

"Oh in that case" I take the bottle from him and replace it with the glass "That more regal," I swig the bottle "I'm common"

He laughs then turns serious "I make it my business to know when people are in my kingdom, and thinking there worthless" his words sting, I feel like someone had stabbed me in the stomach.

"Ok Sherlock" I say slowly, feeling uneasy

"What's wrong?" He asked

Taking a swig of wine, I give up my pretence "Where I'm from, there is a celebration called New Years. Where we celebrate with friends and loved ones, dance, drink. Have fun kiss someone at midnight, bring in the New Year." I smile his eyes tell me to continue "I have done a lot for my friends this year, I helped one elope with her lover. Kept her stable when things started to go wrong," I take another swig "She's getting a divorce now" I add "Then there's the collage friends who struggle with their work load, I help them work out where to start and finish their assignments, the surrogate sister of mine who was scared about leaving home and moving in with her betrothed, I hold no grudges against her she's the best friend I have so I have on issues with here spending time with her love

"What I have a problem with is all the others, who have let me down and I continue to support them. But apparently I wasn't even worth a happy New Year message." I my smiled fades as I watch the dwarves laugh. "This setting is a perfect example of my life. My friends" I gestured to the dwarves "Are out having fun, laughing and partying and I'm on my own getting drunk. How sad is that"

"And that makes you feel worthless"

"In a nut shell"

He sips his wine and we watch the dwarves dance below, minutes slip by

"Thank you" I finally say

"What for"

"Listening, and not running off when I stop talking" I smiled, this time it was genuine "It's nice to have some company"

"You are very welcome" He raises his glass, I tap my bottle against it.

We talk like old friends reuniting, he tells me of his sons and daughter, their antics. He tells me of the dwarves below and how they are running one of his assistants Lindir ragged. In return I tell him about my home, my family, and my problem with suddenly turning up here

"This is the fourth time" I tell him "Always when I have had a drink, I feel the world shake and blur then I'm somewhere in this world"

"You are not the first who has appeared in this world, people of all ages and back grounds, often they are running from something, something they can't admit to themselves. Other times they just want to have fun, or talk to someone." He smiles putting a hand on my shoulder in reassurance "they always return home safe"

"Is drinking the trigger?" I ask

"Not always, everyone is different, I remember one man turned up every time someone complained about the weather"

"Probably from England" I laugh "We're famous for moaning"

"In every case the person learns to live without this place, but always leaves memories for the people here"

"Good to know"

He looks out the window a faint smile on his face "Midnight" he whispers so quite I don't really catch it. I realise what he said after he placed two fingers under my chin and kissed my lips very lightly "Happy New Year" he says "You'll be fine"

"Happy New year, Elrond."

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**A/N I am open to suggestions for Anne's antics :) REVIEW**


	5. Sambuca and bad weather

Once again I find myself alone and drinking, this time in a different hotel, which would not let me onto the WiFi or get room service. The only reason I'm here is because mum needed someone to dive her to a wedding, luckily I brought with me scones crisps and Sambuca.

Stepping outside for a cigarette, my bottle of booze hidden under my coat, wondering down the drive I staggered from side to side. I didn't realise I had drunk that much, but it wasn't just me the ground had become wet and slippy. The weather was taking a turn for the worst, so I took shelter under a large tree, puffing my cigarette I pulled my coat tighter around me. I was very content to stay until the weather changed, or I ran out of booze; the way things were going the latter would come first.

But then I heard shouting, and like the bleeding heart I am I braved the weather and followed the screams for help.

There was a short man trying his best to scramble up the bank. Where the river came from I have no idea I was in the middle of Coventry. He was struggling, the bank was to slippy for him to get a proper grip, I could hear shouts coming from the further up the river. Placing my bottle safely under a tree I slipped my coat and hoody off. Leaving my coat by the tree I used my hoody as a rope tossing him one end. "Grab on" I shouted he took a second to respond, then he grabbed on dragging me a few inches forward. The mud caused my feet to slip out from under me I landed heavily on my butt. "Ow" I shouted which was quickly flowed by "DON'T YOU FUNKING LET GO!" the man gripped my hoodie tighter as I positioned myself in a squat my feet stuck in small trenches, my body was leaning so back far enough to have all my weight anchoring him to land.

"FILI!" he shouted, "HELP!"

The shouted I had heard earlier where getting closer. "HELP!" I Shouted as well, Fili whoever he was needed to get a move on, the weather was worsening, and the small man was still half trapped in the river. Together we shouted, my picture of him was beginning to fade, the adrenaline running through my blood was counter acting the alcohol, my vision was beginning to blur but I could tell his face was scared "HELP!" I screamed my grip on the hoodie was failing.

"HELP!" we screamed together, the material was beging to rip my eyes vision was going black, when something brought me crashing back to fiction.

There was a hand on my shoulder "We've got him lassy" nodding I let the hands over mine take the hoodie rope.

I staggered back to my bottle taking a short swig, the liquid burned my throat making ym cough, but my vision cleared. I finally saw the recuse team. 13 more small men. I happily lit another cigarette while I started to drunk myself up again.

Finally they had him on the bank, everyone was wet and panting

One of the taller more intimidating men, with tattoos across his bald head broke the silence "Who are you?"

"Jackie White" I answer "Now, would you like a drink?"

Once a fire was lit and introduction made, I learned more about this world, why I am here and why I remember little when I wake. The dwarves and hobbit we friendly once the realise I was a "Traveling spirit" as they called people like me. People who are looking for something as they say.

Fili and Kili hugged me which made me blush, repeatedly thanking me for my help. Ori and Dori greeted me like an old quittance/friend it took me a few minute to remember them, Ori said I helped when he was younger by punching his attacker out, Dori said he remembered Ori dragging a drunk girl home, personally I believe Dori more than Ori and apparently I have met Nori but I don't remember.

Thorin and Dwalin kept mostly to themselves, Bombour and Gloin loved to talk to me about their children, I was far too polite and British to walk away. The hobbit Bilbo happily told me about the shire before leaving to sleep.

Bofur stayed up with me claiming he liked Sambuca even though his face became very funny whenever he took a sip.

Last I remember I was falling back laughing.

Next thing I know, I hit my head falling out of bed.


End file.
